Skip to main content

Committed

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1c-NHqmNQtT_lMMhE91CV9wC0RP9rv6IP

Lets talk about the phrase “committed suicide.” It’s the most common phrase people use when talking to me about suicide. But why do we say “committed?” It’s not a sin. You are not sent straight to hell. I did a super scientific (jk 🤓) poll on my Instagram the other day and 76% of 118 people said that they had been taught these things at some point in their life. As a leader of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Elder Renlund) says, “There is an old sectarian notion that suicide is a sin and that someone who commits suicide is banished to hell forever. That is totally false. I believe the vast majority of cases will find that these individuals have lived heroic lives and that suicide will not be a defining characteristic of their eternities.” No matter what belief system you have, we have to get rid of this idea that suicide is selfish. It’s still not the RIGHT thing to do, right? We would take Denny back over anything and wish so so so deeply that he didn’t make this choice. But if anyone thinks he was selfish in this decision, tell me. Be open with me about it. I’ll explain to you how that is absolutely false. I’m still making it through the 100s of amazing messages I’ve received, but I promise I’ll get to yours eventually and I’ll help you understand. In Denny’s mind, it was the most unselfish and loving and protective thing he could do for his family. I know, it doesn’t make sense to anyone rational. But that’s what depression does to your brain. That’s why we have to talk about it and we have to help anyone we can. Just my thoughts on the “committed” thing... it doesn’t offend me at all. It’s just a common phrase. I avoid it but have accidentally said it a few times too. But next time you say that or hear it from someone else, kindly correct them. “Death by suicide,” “took his own life,” or anything like that would be a better alternative. I think getting rid of that phrase could help change people’s mindset about suicide. Tell me your thoughts and opinions on this and please share! ❤️❤️❤️



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Denny’s Obituary

Dennis George Bates II 1983 ~ 2019 Dennis “Denny” George Bates II unexpectedly took his own life on March 23rd, 2019. He was born in Ames, Iowa on October 14, 1983, to Esther Bates-Baker and Dennis Bates. Denny was raised in the small town of Mount Pleasant where everyone knew him and his funny, eccentric personality. He had six siblings who adored him, just as he adored them. As the eldest brother, he took it upon himself to tease and annoy these siblings as much as possible, but he would loyally protect them from anyone else.  Growing up, Denny played the trombone, was on student government, and was the life of every party. He sang in the top choirs in school, played soccer for a season, and was an Eagle Scout and a Seminary graduate. He began college at Iowa Wesleyan University, then moved out to Utah and completed his Business degree at Utah Valley University.  Denny spent the last 15 years here in Utah, making friends everywhere he went. He was someon...

Friday to Saturday

It was weird how soon I knew something was off. Denny was never late to anything. He would always say, “If you’re not ten minutes early, then you’re late.” He would even get annoyed when we were first dating if I would show up late (which I did frequently) and would try to hide his frustration. He didn’t hide it well. Fun fact: I was 45 minutes late to our outdoor wedding. Not kidding, one reason I was so confident in marrying him that day is because he was still so excited and happy when I got there. He wasn’t even kind of annoyed. He was just so excited to be married to me.  But on that Friday, I knew by 8:01am something was off. Actually, I remember him leaving early in the morning, but he told me on Thursday that he was going to the gym the next morning. So I woke up just as he was leaving and rolled back over and went back to sleep. When Winnie woke me up with a Diet Coke (the only good thing about that day was her running in with a can yelling “Good Morning”) at 745...

Friday

4 weeks ago, at this moment, I was trying to remain calm. I had driven all over Utah County and asked places Denny frequented if they had seen him(Denny is hard to miss unless he’s in a crowd of tall people, then you can’t even see his head). I called his best friend, his mom, and his brother. I called his boss and a secretary from his work to tell them he may be late and to let me know the second he gets there.  Earlier that week he’d shown some signs of stress. But, if you know Denny, he gets stressed out all of the time. He would have a less than average month at work and threaten to quit (though he never actually followed through and we had this conversation 40,000 times). His best friend and I always teased him about being a bit of a Drama Queen. 95% of the time he was even keeled. But then he had that 5% that was over the top. Stressed out Denny was a familiar one.  The stress from work came because all Denny ever wanted was to protect and provide for his fami...